Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!, Fiutando Libri!, Human English Version!

Sniffing out books…! Fiutando libri!

 

Girl Detached by Manuela Salvi Higlly recommed for Young Adult!

(Italian version: Una ciotola di emozioni forti… è solo Letteratura! )

salviAleksandra has issues with her voice. Stress makes her stutter, and her life is one of stress. She can only speak clearly on stage, freed by the words of the character she plays. Then, when Aleksandra befriends her new neighbour Megan, and through her meets charming, handsome Ruben, it seems she has discovered a doorway into a different world, and a different Alek. But Ruben wants Aleksandra to play a particular role for him, and it is one that will come close to destroying her.

 

 

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

To be or not to be: that’s the question…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERACone or not cone that’s the question. Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the insults of ointment, hydrogen peroxide, and the arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against Umi and fight to scatter her. Border and Bard share the same consonants. We are both English and Poets. Maybe he went to the aesthetic surgeon too instead of to the vet like me.

And yes! As far as my ear bitten by a pittbull is concerned Umi is doing “much ado for nothing”. And I, the Border from Stradford-upon-Adige, have enough of it. If I don’t pay attention the hole in the ear could open? Ok I will wear an earring! Like Will or Drake the Pirate did, or if you prefer like the sailors who survived to Cape Horn, where the ocean fight! I rounded Cape-of-Good-Hope-they-leave-me-in-peace and it do the same!

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And, as my life was a sheakspearean tragedy there is also the scratching prohibition. Umi issued an edict: “any dog (as if we were a lot! ) scratching itself will be punished with a shout” that will pierce the eardrums but save the ear pavilion. When don’t wear the collar I must clean myself and being a Border I clean my hair. I don’t stink and then the “family jewels” must be well kept. No great strategist would ever won a battle if the artillery wasn’t properly oiled and the cannon-balls well polished.

dormiamoci su...
dormiamoci su…

Switching from tragedy to comedy like it happened at Will’s Globe, Umi and I met a man in the street who asked if I’m a male (what a question!). He has a little dog at leash, wearing a black&pink coat, I didn’t see at all, let’s figure to guess what it was!
He stood and gesticulate, he talked nonsense and Umi nodded patiently while I’m thrilling unpatiently…. and she kept on smiling doltish. Believe me, that man rounded Cape Horn twice but head down and he had even a screw loose.

 

 

I’m asking myself: should we be nice with every mad we meet? Under that pink coat he has a wheeled plastic duck , I tell you!
Let’s go Milady, please… For heaven’s sake, Umi, put it off!

In Italiano: To be or not to be that’s the question

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Frankly, I don’t give a damn

Sheepdog, sheep, flock control are part of a Border Collie work, and yet Brick slights them. He likes to taste the sheep poop pralines and to bark to the hens in the near fence. He barks offensively aloud to the horses but he is not interested in the sheep. At least this is Umi’s idea after a few sheep control lessons that she and Bryce did together.

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But other thoughts go through young Brick’s mind, while he rests dirty and tired.

“I ask myself: why should I gather 4 afraid sheep? Ok, I’m a border and if you take me to a farm in a boundless moor with a flock to be led to a sheepfold I could bustle. But in a fence, with the sheep I feel myself uncomfortable then the poor animals are fed up to give lessons to a dog, the teacher explains to the people what to do and they do it, they improvise themselves shepherds and dogs engage and some even try to bite the sheep. Istantanea 8 (12-02-2016 22-04)The dogs, the ordinary ones, don’t know that during serious sheepdog competitions biting the sheep shank is a serious penalty. They can even be disqualified only for a bite! I don’t want to be the jaguar’s friend or rewrite Tom and Jerry subverting the things natural order, but I’m sorry for those wooly heads, all day long going around foolishly in a fence, going in and out the gates risking the shanks only to entertain humans! We, the borders, control the sheep with our look, our eyes give order…. let German Shepherd join the Police and leave us the dirty job! Paws get muddy, hair puffs up and our magnetic eyes order the rebel sheep to go back to the flock. Istantanea 10 (12-02-2016 22-06)That happens in Scotland or in the Alp pastures, not in the riding school fence behind the house. There you annoy the hens because a serious border has mostly a nuisance nature. He is irreverent, virtually scoundrel, and extremely clever to understand when a human needs to be cuddled. We, the borders, love to converse with horses, they have great empathy and irony, we gladly exchange a few jokes when we met. As far as the pralines are concerned… everyone has his own weaknesses and tastes… and it’s real vegan food!

In italiano… L’amico del giaguaro

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Rain and fire

It’s raining, I just came back, the rain makes me completely humid. I was well dried and rubbed. Now I’m lying on then carpet by the fire burning in the fireplace. I hear Umi working in the kitchen but I know I don’t need to get up because according to my brothers when she is there she only plays with the chemistry set…

IMG_6568 - CopiaTherefore I keep watching at the fire! Rain reminds me at something I don’t know but that is in me somewhere. It doesn’t bother me to have wet hair, my undercoat keeps me warm and dry. I love running in the rain, it makes me electric! If I close my eyes, stung by the flames’heat, I can imagine myself working on my canine ancestors’cold hills, I hear the shepherds’ whistles, the mud soaking my paws while I rally big and nervous sheeps. My young body’s energy busts in the control and gathering work, and overcomes cold and danger and even the stony ground scratching my fingertips.

I open my eyes on my pack, the pack I love like only dogs can do. My human brother, that I wake up every morning with my humid nose, that I push out of the door and follow with my eyes till he leaves the house alleyway (not for nothing, but if he looses the bus I must “keep it” till we take him downtown to the school). To wake up my other brother I must jump on him with all my four paws! But… how much do the humans sleep? Then there is Umi… you can’t even imagine how much patience I need with her! She stops to talk with an old couple: the lady has a stick, the dog has not… but I’m sure it would be useful to him too… Umi softens and every time is almost moved: the dog was her husband’s, who died some years ago. The ambulance came to talk him and since then the dog doesn’t bear the siren’s sound. Before dying at the hospital the old man was worried about his dog’s future and since then his wife always keeps the dog by her side as she was the husband. Life, old age, and death: that’s the way it goes. Stop moving every time! I close my eyes and let the fire heat warm my hair and bones. The rain smell is still in my nostrils… I could be elsewhere, there, where my nature would like to be… but I’m here and here I’m useful.

In italiano … Pioggia e fuoco

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

The importance of stealing smartly

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI’m a border collie then I’m a herding dog. I gather the sheep on the Scottish highlands, I run with a lower tail, my body stretched forward and alert eyes. Nothing shrink my look and when the shepherd whistles I run like an arrow. That’s what is told about me and what is written in my DNA. Not all Border collies work in Scotland with sheep, some of us are excellent athletes or Civil Protection volunteers both in the UK and in other countries.

And then there is me and my Umi.

Well, she is not a real natural disaster and nevertheless she is a hard work, turning me in a watchdog (and being a border this is very disheartening). To make matters worse Umi is a real wrangler. At the park if a careless human let his dog dirty she attacks like a Rottweiler. And she never argues with the little dogs’ owners, I had to deal with a long haired German Shepherd… okay, it was enough to bark at him that I would tear his fur with my bites and I would spit his braided hair like a David Crockett’s hat and he immediately settled down quietly. But not all dogs are borders. Besides I must get food and therefore I let my human brother teach me some tricks (some stupid games). I’m learning “sbam”: I should lay down as if I was dead. I think to eat a pair of that Frankfurter packages, that he uses as positive reinforcement, before showing him a perfect “sbam”. However, as far as food is concerned you must trust only Granny, although being a cat lover eel she is very wise. While Umi was cutting some cheese on the chopping board to prepare pizza I was sniffing it… I was sniffing and drooling. It’s not my fault if I’m a shepherd… for a big piece of cheese I would do a perfect “sbam” at the first shot. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIn short I was sniffing that Sardinian cheese laying only a inch far away from my nose but dangerously near the table edge. Umi stated: “He is a good dog, he would never steal it” (deluded human) and Granny said: “He is a family dog (you can bet I’m), he doesn’t think to steal it but simply to take it (I’m not a thief). Put yourself in his border head (but yet it’s difficult to soar so much)…food belongs to the pack: like your son opens the fridge to take a coke so Brik would take the cheese”.

That’s why I love her even though she is a cat lover. I don’t have opposable thumbs to take the fridge handle yet I have opposable jaws for the cheese and this doesn’t mean to steal but to take with elegance!

In italiano Prendere con eleganza.

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Vive la république!

My Granny, half French and half Roman, is part of my pack. Each morning she arrives trotting cheerfully. I founded the “5 paws movement” for the protection of the home dog’s rights with my human brothers. We put Umi immediately in the minority making any opposition of hers fall, while Granny is the extremist fringe of the opposition resistance. She uses a rolled newspaper as a weapon to threaten me when I wallow on the lounge carpet to scratch myself. Should I pretend to be afraid? As If I didn’t know a newspaper can be reduced to coriander… Naive like a flower-power girl!

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Granny always reads with a cat on her lap. She thinks cats are always right and I’m always wrong. I can’t jump on the bed while cats can; I can’t sit on the couch, they can sleep on it for hours; they can even use me as a pillow but I can’t play with them: because I frighten them!

When I have to pee is a war: “not on the hydrangeas”, “not in the rock garden side” “not on the sage” shouts Granny! And I must jump to the oleander, while the cats… they pee everywhere to mark their territory, they delimit our garden’s perimeters to keep the neighborhood cats out. Which simply means they pee wherever they want.

Granny is a eel: if she comes to the market with us, she escapes and slips among the OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAbenches and I get mad to find her, to launch the “lost granny” alarm and bring Umi on her trace.

And yet… Granny is corruptible! She thinks to be able to open the cookie jar preventing me to hear her. I always catch her red-handed and then I have my insatiable revenge: I look at her, I stare at her following the sweet movement of the sugar free cookies she dips in her tea (I’m always a border collie, I control the sheep alone with my look and I’m an hypnosis master). My eyes make her feel guilty, they make her feel a fat, old human starving a sad malnourished dog. And being a great artist I let a thread of drool fall on the ground, I’m like a spider weaving its web. Therefore every time she surrenders and with a guilty feeling and some disgust she gives me a cookie. We shouldn’t eat cookies because I’m allergic to cereals and she has a bad relationship with her glycemic index, but none of us will ever say a word to Umi.

At the end Granny gets angry with Umi and she reproaches her for the anarchy reigning in our pack. It’s not real anarchy: the cats rule. But I keep this opinion only for myself.
Vive la république!

In italiano: Vive la république! 

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

I was flooding the world!

This morning Umi and I were going out for our quite daily walk, but my human brother lost once again the bus to school, so we rushed in the car to pick and bring him to school. Yet I should pee but I told to myself…  I could keep it for a while.

I didn’t like car rides but by now I’m used to and when we go downtown I look out of the window. My brother put some music on, Umi’s loved one, to relOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAax her. He uses Billy Joel like I use my dog smile and happy wag to be forgiven. We stopped and I saw a human who was oddly dressed. Her face was black like a tree bark, had a crooked expression and wore two trousers together and she limped. She stretched her hand towards me and I licked the window…

Meanwhile I should still pee… but at the next stop there was another human. She was tall with rear shining and high heel “lift-paws”. On her body without fur she wore a red jacket and skirt (border can memorize up to 1000 words: it’s scientifically tested). She had such shining and black hairs, that according to me they put pure salmon oil also in her kibbles. Then she had two dark frisbees on her eyes, they were so big they hid half of her face. Once in a cableway they put me a muzzle, perhaps those frisbee are a sort of human one… in front of the school there Foto0181were a lot of young human specimen: sweet, all looking alike, all smelling milk and cigarettes. Humans without furs are odd: they disguise themselves as they like and however I should still pee…

My Umi always wears old trekking trousers, t-shirt and sneakers, now she has short hairs and it’s said she looks like a little artichoke ( by the way, what is it a little artichoke? I don’t know this word). But Umi smell good and scent of mom and I like her! Damned music, damn young human: I’m softening! … hey brother next time let’s listen to AC/DC otherwise I loose bite!

Meanwhile we arrived at the park: finally I opened the bulkheads, opened my hydrant and I was flooding the world!

In italiano: … acqua alle corde! (clicca e leggi!)

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

I slip on banana scent!

I slip, flee but my paws’nail don’t grip on the tiles. My ears are so flattened backwards that it seems I don’t have them anymore and my look is unfocused: I know I cannot  escape but I try. They seek to coax me with sweet words but they don’t want to free me. I get on my rear paws climbing with my front paws on the human catching me. She cries and i flee, the other traitor looses his balance and falls on the ground. I’m not really free, the door is closed. Someone takes me from the scruff and brings me back again…

I wake up: I’m in my bed and I have been already showered yesterday: this was only a nightmare. Andwhatthehell!!! If I had loves water I would be born seal, wouldn’t I?

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Lately Umi washes anything is at hand: and that was me! But I lefter a treat in the bathroom: while I was running away I sprinkled everywhere banana flavored dog shampoo (…banana?? How could it be??) I left dog hairs and water puddles everywhere. She will think twice before bathing me again, that  scoundrel with an obsession for scented hair! But the REAL traitor is my human brother: I couldn’t believe he could do this to me!  Now he can forget his tricks: under, up, eight, turn…. he can scrape by alone and next time he can take a monkey: he matches well with bananas!

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After bath!

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Do you already know our house cats? Let’s talk about them! (… happy Easter!)

noiWhat can you do when a cat choose your paw as a pillow? And what do you do when a cat decides that he likes you even If you are a dog? Well, with some feline it’s not even worth talking about it: you sit still like a sphinx and he stands gently up on his rear paws and he rubs his little head under your chin purring. It’s really embarrassing. I swear, but it’s also evident (I’m a cultured dog), that facing such a showy trust you cannot react aggressively. It’s a sort of peaciful protest played out by my feline roommate to destroy the cliché according to which cats and dogs are the bitterst enemies, an evident stand-up of purrs and rubbings to overturn some old and overcome legends. Perhaps a stupid dog could misunderstand but surely not a clever, sensible border with his commonsense. I sit still, sometimes I flatten my ears backwards for embarrassment, but usually I do nothing, its called self-control.

Sometimes my human brother makes me play this game: I must sit still in front of a yummy trick untill he lets me eat it. He does it to teach me to resist to the primal impulse to eat, just in case I would – but I shouldn’t – gobble a poisoned morsel: oh, be sure!!

noi1I already train my self-control with the house cat who unilaterally decided to be my best friend. I must defend my dignity, but I cannot savage him: this is self-control to me!

Moreover Umi would not be happy If I would bite that peaciful furball. When the house cat (not vegan-pacifist) catches a lizard or a little bird Umi makes a ruckus to free it from his claws. What’s if there is a lizard less in the garden? But no, she starts a fight with the feline to take away the prey, and he, stupid, even makes the effort to bring it home. In short Umi doesn’t care about the food chain and therefore it’s better to give up; it can be useful to lick someone else’s bowl (Umi doesn’t know but I can reach it).  I personally like commonplaces, but I’m a good dog and therefore I conform. As a matter of fact there are two cats at home: one loves me the other is stupid. As puppies we chased eachother, now he ignores me like it should be, or he utters a plaintive meow which means let me in peace. And Who touches you? If I should strive for something it will always and only be for the bowl, the ball and the setee’s use… according to the priority order!

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Here is Umi, my uman mentor!

It’s said that dogs grew fond above all to one of their family’s members, but that’s not me! I’m a multi-human-lover. Maybe I still have a little crush on a particular human which I perfectly trained: he threw a ball exactly as I taught him, we didn’t fail a shot!

However I feel very selfconfident like all borders do, and I don’t disdain an agility race tubowith a good and beautiful handler because, I must say it, Umi, my present handler, is a little bumbling. She doesn’t run fast and she mistakes hand or foot! I come out of the tunnel at a supersonic speed, low tail, alert ears, ready to face the next obstacle… and my Umi points a jump, then she rethinks and gives me a short: “no, no, wait!” “It was an out”. What does a poor border have to do? He is trained to understand quickly, but what can he do if he has an handler who reads a whole pamphlet about street indications in dog sports??? What should I do? Should I stop and lick my paw? Or should I drink some water and take care of my personal hygiene?

Oh well, but Umi is Umi! Umi is a sweetheart, she is a free dreamer with a light inclination to break someone else balls. Yes, it’s true. She is determinated to bring me up: naive!
For she doesn’t want me to bark to the other dogs working on the obstacles things like: “I do it! I do it!” “Go away!”  “Let me in, I’m the best!”

Umi is a children’s writer and she cannot be anything else: she loves adventure, pirates, woods, cats and dogs. Umi does strange voices, she makes me and the house cats talk, and once she even gave voice to a centipede. Umi was her cubs’s joy, they grew up, I grew up but she still remains the same. TIMG_6632his is why I stay by her side and I’m her shadow. Dogs, when they can, remains where they are needed. As a matter of fact someone must keep her feet on the ground! Sometimes she is a little sad and she only wants to walk. She likes to walk everywhere and with any wheather: sun, snow, rain or wind! It happens, seldom but it happens, that we walk for hours joint by a long and slack leash but lost in our own thoughts. I sniff, study, mark the territory. I’m busy with my own dog business and she goes keeping her eyes to the ground even if she doesn’t look where she puts her feet. When we stop I invite her to play: I bow down, wag my tail, bark happily but nothing! So I let her quite: I know that shortly we will be happy again.

I want to rassure you about agility: nothing is lost!
You can say anything about my Umi and surely she hasn’t a high self-exteem: she knows she is a duffer and therefore she tries to find a solution. And the best solution would be my brother! I don’t add anything else but together we are very smart: like a Ferrari driven by John Lennon!!!

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Here is my family!

My human brothers are very different from eachother. With the older one we go wild, Foto0306he is strong and we really play together: he throws balls, tug the war and we run a lot… I come home with broken paws, and consumed pads. I give everything I can and it’s a very beautiful feeling. He puts all his passion playing with me, as a matter of fact everything is passion to him: he is very happy or very bored. Everything is “very” to him. He changes his mood very easily and this makes me a little scared… We, dogs, are a bit frightened by humans when we nose suspence around us. Perhaps it’s just a kind of natural preservation instinct that we have.
My family would never hurt me on purpose but when one of my human raises his voice and I feel his mood is darkening something tightens my stomach, I lower my ears and my tail slips between my paws.
Someone says you should pay attention to dogs because you don’t know what they are thinking but we believe the same about humans.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMy younger brother invents some tricks for me: “roll”, “turn”, “goes under”, “goes on”, “give me  your paw”, “stay with a juice brik on the head”.
Then he plays his piano, and when he does I sit under his chair and vibrations come from the floor through my whole body. I put my face on the floor and suddenly a musical massage of vibrations and notes, a delightful feeling goes all over me.
He plays and his mind flies away and I Let myself fall in a light sleep moving my paws while I’m running on the scottish highlands and the humid grass of my dream caresses my body and I feel myself as a young, wild and free wolf.

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

I’m a lucky guy

OSSI was born in a beautiful cottage in the wood where I spent my time with 8 red, white and multicoloured brothers. My human mentor, from now on called “umi”, came to take me on a late autumn day (her beloved season), when the wood’s floor was completely covered by red and yellow leaves. It rained, the leaves shone like they were waxed and the sunlight gave them warm, bright and smelly reflections. Rows of vines and evergreen trees covered the hills and the landscape while I was looking out of our car’s window. I was not afraid, but leaving my brothers and the human Who helped me to come to the world made me a little bit nervous. I was full of trust in humans, like all the dogs growing among them.

As I arrived at my new home I met two cats Who were bigger than I. We sniffed eachother carefully and meaowed something like: “Ehi anotherone came in!” Then I met my two crazy human brothers and I played pulling the rope and biting: I liked them immediately.

Humans are obsessed by their den’s cleanness and put a kind of abortbent mat where you have to use as a “toilette”. Every time you do it they give you a treat. You can get a lot of them controlling carefully pee and poop.

The human Who helped me coming to the world advised my Umi I should not going up and down the stairs to prevent my bones from breaking. Therefore my umi built a wooden gate: such a beautiful piece of handwork! When my human family put it by the stairs I shouldn’t go up, we all looked at it proudly. When I went through the bars to look at it from above they all sat on the ground sadly but I still haven’t understood why…. they talked about wrong measures but they weren’t! The wood was so soft to gnaw… Thus Umi invented the human lift: to go up-or downstairs I took the first human passing by and I even got a treat! When you say the convenience!

At the very beginning Umi didn’t allow me to sit on the couch (growing up and with the right supports I solved this unfortunate situation) As she thought I wanted to get on to stay near her (she is so sweet) she sat on my pillow with me. It wasn’t bad to stick at her while she was working. She put her pc on her lap, writing and saying: “My next novel will be written by a dog” but I was not offended.

We stayed for hours on my pillow, I slept or chewed a bone while she wrote aloud. What does it mean? See you next time!

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Welcome on my blog!

My human mentor decidappena arrivatoed to collect my thoughts and adventures on this blog.

I’m a border collie, a shepherd’s dog, an attentive, wild and charming predator… But my human has no sheep and doesn’t live on a farm. I was told that apparently she is a kind of a writer and she always brings me in libraries and literary events. What a life it’s mine!!! Perhaps even a scandalous one for a dog of my breed. Nevertheless I decided to take care of this human and to stay by her side. She is not so bad, afterall she cares about me and it’s known that dogs are loyal companions.

 

Pubblicato in: Canine English Version!

Let’s explain!

Foto di Martina Miradoli
Foto di Martina Miradoli

To write about Bryce, aka Brik, is natural to me like it was years ago when I told stories to my sons and I put them black on white… Once a friend told me not to humanize my dog but once again it was so natural to me to use my pen to describe his behaviour in a serious and amusing way.

To write about Brik is like a game, a little tribute to his contagious joy and an excuse, so dear to every writer, to look around and Tell a story. From now on I will describe myself as “his human mentor”. Yes, I know, that from the very beginning there have been dogs and owners, but Let me use this poetic licence. Nobody should own someone: no man owns a woman or another man; nor a woman owns a man or another woman. A father doesn’t own a son nor does a mother. Therefore I don’t want to own a dog, I want to believe he choose to stay with me and never leave me ad I will never leave him.

Pubblicato in: Avvertenze ed effetti collaterali, Canine English Version!

Canine English Version!

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Brik è un border collie e non poteva tradire le sue origini… quindi ha deciso che il suo blog avrà una Canine English Version!

Being a Border collie, Brik couldn’t ignore his origins and therefore decided to have also a Canine English Version of his blog.

 

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Orma Rossa

Cureranno le traduzioni dei suoi articoli la freelance Gingerbell Orma Rossa e la sua assistente Gingerbell Glen Grant.

Freelance Gingerbell Orma Rossa and her assistant Gingerbel Glen Grant will translate his articles.

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Glen Grant

 

 

 

 

 

Alla tastiera del pc per loro, l’umana di riferimento Anna, alla quale va un caloroso benvenuto!

On behalf of Orma&Glen Anna, their human mentor, will be at the pc keyboard… welcome on board!!!